#1 – Mom and the Amazing Technicolor Photo
On Friday, my mom sent me an email at work entitled “FWD: Facebook – People You May Know.” (She made a Facebook account once, a very long time ago, in order to view some photos my aunt had posted, but is not active on Facebook. She never filled out her profile and unfortunately never deleted her account.) The email said, “Weird that I keep getting these. I know the first 2 people!” I was listed at the top: my profile picture, in all its rainbow glory.
My heart lurched. The message was clear as day: it was her subtle not-subtle way of saying, “I know what you’re up to, you closet dyke!” (Or at least “Your recent behavior combined with this picture has raised my suspicions.”) Now, it’s not as if having a rainbow-tinted photo makes you gay, as we’ve seen plenty of allies show their support in this manner, but she’s not on Facebook so she doesn’t get it. If she sees a rainbow picture, she assumes it means that person is gay.
I replied without a fuss: “Wow, you’re still getting those? You really need to delete your account.” She didn’t ask any further questions.
#2 – Showdown
About a week ago, I was wearing a particularly gay outfit, including my gorgeous brown Oxfords, which I almost always keep at work, but this day decided to wear all the way home. I was hoping to slip into the house unnoticed and change my clothes before anyone could see me.
When I got home, my grandma was over for dinner, and my entire family was sitting in the kitchen. Um…shit.
My grandma gave me a once-over and announced, “I like that shirt!”
My dad chimed in, “I like the SHOES!”
I blushed the color of my lipstick. “Thanks,” I mumbled.
They clearly had no idea what kind of look I was going for.
#3 – New BFF
Yesterday I was driving down the highway blasting Tegan and Sara (of course – what else would I be listening to?) and this bearded guy pulls up in the car next to me and gives me a smile and a fist-pump and starts SINGING ALONG to “Now I’m All Messed Up.” I kid you not. I almost crashed my car, I was laughing so hard. It was fucking amazing.
#4 – Hope After All
It finally happened: I saw a girl IN REAL LIFE GUYS OMG who looked like Sara Quin. !!!
It was at a street festival in Chicago. It was awesome. She was beautiful. I probably stared too hard, because it took me a few seconds to realize she was on a date with another girl. Also, I was with my aunt and uncle, who don’t know I like girls. Awkward.
In other news, I’m steps away from getting an apartment and moving back to the city! The apartment search has consumed 95% of my free time, including evenings, weekends, and my daily commute – but I’m managing with 4 cups of coffee and the slaphappy energy of the sensation that my life is about to begin.
Right now, I’m so exhausted that I’m drinking gin with cranberry juice and 7 Up, and the minute I finish this I’m going to bed. Have a great week everyone!